Working For the Man: The Lowdown on Which Women's Mags To Buy or Burn (cont.)

Sandra Fu

Notice a trend?

All of the headlines - ones placed on either side of the mag, directly beneath the title -- focus on how women can and should change themselves or make special efforts to please men, even if they are already "good" girlfriends. I have nothing against some self-improvement, but it's all in the language, and the language of Cosmopolitan is entirely clear in this case -- it's all about the guys. In my many years of magazine purchases, I've noticed that Cosmo likens finding and deserving a soul mate with "catching" or "trapping" a victim. Or worse, a victim with another woman lording over them -- "Ghastly Stories From Readers Who Discovered Their Guy's Mom Was a Total Psycho!" reads one of October's subheads. All of which only supports the popular belief many men already hold true: women lure and then trap them in a relationship they want nothing to do with.

To be fair, I also researched a few men's magazines to find out what tactics they use to make men feel insecure. Ha! Men don't put themselves down like that. Their magazines, like Maxim, Stuff, FHM, etc., focus on how to get laid as much as possible with as little emotional and often monetary effort as possible. Now just add an insecure woman digesting countless diatribes on how she needs to find a man and you've got one easy lay.

MORE Morphizm

"I think that there's been a lot of difficulty in defining what is American, what is considered American. There's a lot of difficulty with acceptance within our community of foreignness at this time."

"But at the time it was as if he had announced to the whole world that I was wearing a training bra. So I turned around and delivered a swift kick to his crotch."

"The chief characteristic of I'm the One That I Want is bravery -- Cho simply has no fear taking on gays, straights, the media, networks, (Cauc)Asians, culture, sex, addiction and countless other components of popular American life."

"My father's side of the family had the good fortune to be on the route of the first missionaries bringing Christianity to Korea, so we jumped on the Jesus bandwagon before it got all crowded with Buddhist poseurs."

"The aptly named Carney thought that Asian-Americans would find 'Two Wongs Can Make it White' cheeky and irreverent? Maybe if they, like Abercrombie &Fitch, weren't thinking."

"Some women may find it useful to support their upper body by propping their hands or forearms on their knees. Once properly positioned go ahead and let loose the stream."

Case in point: in the October issue of Cosmopolitan's sensational "Cosmo Confessions," I was especially horrified to read about a 20 year-old recently dumped girl who decided -- since her ex-boyfriend always told her how much his friends hated her -- to sleep with five of them in the course of five weeks to prove him wrong, to the point of even performing acts on them that she never would for her boyfriend. All to drive home the point that, um, what again? She ended her airheaded entry with this: "Even if they hated me before, they're all loving me now." That'll show him!

Wrong. His friends are high-fiving one another over their incredible luck with one incredible slut.

It doesn't take a giant leap in logic to see that this girl has been filling her head with these articles designed to get men laid and, mind you, get laid well. Or worse, they are fabricated and written by Cosmo staffers to spice its otherwise tedious content. Either way, it's a waste of ink. Even with this girl's extensive Cosmo knowledge of a man's anatomy, her boyfriend still left her, so where is her validation now? I'll tell you where it is -- in the pants of five different men of whom she cared nothing about.

That's the way to cultivate strong, intelligent women. Great job, Cosmo!

Cosmo turns women into bait, working hand in hand with men who are happy to see idiots like the girl I just mentioned come crying to them for dependency. I can't understand why Cosmo would want to put women at such a disadvantage with such destructive thinking, but they do and that is why they are Public Enemy #1.

Next --> "Plus, Marie Claire is rare among women's magazines in that they are socially and politically conscious, addressing taboo female issues that most other publications of their type could give a rat's ass about..."