Bex is finally here. Too bad he can't actually play. (Photo: AFP)

[by Amy Bass]

Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play/Hey now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid.

I can't decide which moment I found funnier about David Beckham's arrival in the United States.  The first time I laughed out loud was when I saw Posh's hot pink dress and matching Hermes Birkin bag.  The whole ensemble just looked so un-American for some reason.  And how was she not sinking into the pitch of the Home Depot Center in those heels?  Then I laughed when the president of the LA Galaxy, American soccer great Alexi Lalas, announced that he was honored “to introduce to Los Angeles and the world…Mr. David Beckham.”  Introduce ?  Yes, absolutely, no one knew who he was, that he was coming, or what he was doing here.  Good thing he got introduced.  Thanks, Alexi.

The next thing that made me laugh was when Bex (I'm still rooting for the “x”) took to the dais himself and proceeded to call soccer “football.”  Oops.  Guess that'll take some getting used to.

The last thing that made me laugh was the coverage of the Beckham's arrival at LAX – not on Sports Center , mind you, but rather on Access Hollywood , Entertainment Tonight , and Extra , and online at sites such as Pink is the New Blog. The swarms of fans that met the family at the airport enabled entertainment and gossip reporters to make comparisons to the last significant British invasion on these shores, the Beatles.

In the midst of the chaos, someone interviewed one Dionne Barnes, a fan who had waited some two hours to see the Beckhams arrive.  In Elvis-devotion like fashion, Barnes claimed that Bex was the “greatest soccer player in the world.”

Okay, funny time is over.  Greatest soccer player in the world?  That gives me pause.

Is he the greatest?  Perhaps.  No one since Pele has given America this much to think about in terms of soccer.  And if Bex can make America love soccer, not in the kids-league-suburban-mini-van way, but rather in the professional baseball-football-basketball way, then he may fulfill his destiny as the greatest. But greatest? Does that mean best? Hmmmm...

He's good.  Indeed, his left foot is quite remarkable.  But is he Ronaldinho?  Kaka?  Juan Roman Riquelme?  Lionel Messi?  Francesco Totti?  Thierry Henry?

That remains to be seen.  And there's only one way to find out.

So David, welcome. All that's left for you to do is go play. So do it. Go play.  Show Americans what this fuss is really about.

July 16, 2007