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Terrolympics!

[by Amy Bass]

Let me begin by saying that the following is satire in the most Swiftian of manners.  My point is serious; my unveiling of it is not.  But since I am absolutely positive that Jonathan Swift was a better writer than I could ever think of being, and since his satiric point in his “modest proposal” was lost on just about everyone who read him in his own period, I offer this caveat now, rather than later, to avoid any kind of barrage of emails, letters, cards, or nasty phone calls.

That said, here's my own modest proposal:  terrorist groups should be allowed to field Olympic teams.

Now, do I think this actually should happen?  No, of course not.  Just as Swift did not think when he wrote A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from being a Burden to their Parents or Country, and for making them Beneficial to the Public in 1729 that the way to rid Ireland of its economic destitution was to fatten up starving Catholic children and feed them to the British absentee landowners.   His plan was a way to simultaneously end both overpopulation and unemployment, relieving poor folk from the expense of raising a family while providing a new and substantial gastronomic encounter for the rich and a new mode of economic security for the country as a whole.

The point was lost on many, and for those of you who somehow missed Swift in your formal education, let me assure you:  Jonathan Swift did not want anyone to eat children, fattened or otherwise.  And while I do not actually want terrorist groups to field Olympic teams, it is the only way I can think of to convey the point that we need to change our thinking on who and what these entities are in modern society.

The recent conflict between Israel and Hezbollah make things unusually clear, despite the terribly grey and muddled areas that the situation creates.  Why take this out on Lebanon, critics worry.  Why bomb a country that did not launch anything at Israel, or kidnap its soldiers, but rather for the first time in decades is building a democratic -- and pro-West, mind you -- government of its own?  But from Israel's perspective, it is not bombing Lebanon -- it is bombing Hezbollah, which happens to reside within in the southern part of the nation-state called Lebanon.  Let's be clear, even as we see carnage and destruction occurring daily, and it's a difficult thing to watch:  it's not about Lebanon -- it's about Hezbollah.

The era of the nation-state, if not before, is certainly now over.

And this situation between Israel and Hezbollah should not be our first understanding of how this is so.  When George W. Bush failed to support extending the tenets of the Geneva Convention to detainees -- whoever they may be -- in Guantanamo Bay, his reasoning was based on the archaic belief that the world was still divided among nation-states.  According to the Bush administration, the detainees – most of whom apparently hail from Pakistan and Afghanistan -- had not been captured in uniform, were not from a recognized nation, and had not observed the conventional rules of war (did they kill people the wrong way?), thus forfeiting their rights and making them “unlawful combatants,” rather than prisoners of war.

After several years, Bush recently changed his stance, at least publicly, but only at the behest of a definitive court edict.  The Geneva Convention does extend to those who have been held -- some for years -- in Guantanamo, acknowledging that the so-called traditional rules of war, which are based on the ideas of nations in conflict, have, indeed, changed.

By allowing terrorist groups to field Olympic teams, perhaps more people would come to understand this, and the terribly complicated situation in the Middle East would have a better shot at an educated and diplomatic conversation, rather than what has been taking place.  Of course, standards would have to be created in order to determine which groups should receive entrance into the Olympic community.  Terrorism is commonly defined as the indiscriminate use of violence against civilians.  Of course, while terrorists are generally thought not to belong to uniformed and globally recognized armed forces, there is also state terrorism -- genocide, for example -- which likely makes the call of terrorists to the Olympics all more legitimate.

Sudan has an Olympic team.  So does Rwanda.

After watching the press officer -- yes, that's right, the press officer -- of Hezbollah take CNN's Nic Robertson on a tour of the destruction in Lebanon, I think it is safe to assume that Hezbollah should get an Olympic team.  Who else?  Well, certainly the Palestine Liberation Organization, whose Olympic legacy is already cemented in history.  The Black September Movement, a branch of the PLO, is considered to be the forefather of modern terrorism, with its deadly assault on the Israeli Olympic team in Munich in 1972.

Who else?  Well, al-Qaeda, of course, as the most prominent group in the world, or at least in the United States, and likely Abu Sayyaf, an arm of al-Qaeda in the Philippines.  The Algerian groups should likely come together under an umbrella, since there are many divisions in that region fighting for the same cause, as should those organized around the cause of Basque independence.  The Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia doesn't boast large numbers, but has operations in several countries, including Lebanon and the United States.  Hamas, certainly, and al-Jihad, and to ensure that there isn't a focus only on the Middle East and southern Europe, the Irish Republican Army should get a nod, and the Chechen rebels would likely do well in the Winter Games. And then there are the old school groups, such as the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, and the Red Brigades in Europe.

Of course, few -- if any -- of these groups consider themselves to be terrorists.  Organizations such as these tend to codify their actions differently from those who oppose them, using labels such as revolutionary, freedom fighter, separatist, fedayeen, or mujaheddin, to name only a few.   If these markers are to be acknowledged, then another whole set of Olympic participants come into the fold, including those who support Quebec's independence from Canada, and those who feel that Western Massachusetts should secede from the greater Boston area (and no, I'm not making that last one up).  There are also those who graduate from the level of rebellion when they actually succeed in achieving liberation.  Few, for example, would call a figure such as Nelson Mandela a terrorist today, as his Nobel Peace Prize undoubtedly has changed his status from what it used to be:  an enemy of the state of South Africa.

While granting such groups membership into the international Olympic community may not be the global solution to current conflicts, it might help create an understanding of just what is going on in the world, and how we can no longer comprehend current affairs in terms of national borders or identities.  And in the Olympics, these new teams would not be the only ones without national status.  The International Olympic Committee currently recognizes teams from Hong Kong, Puerto Rico, Palestine, American Samoa, several Caribbean islands, and Chinese Taipei -- none of which are national entities.  And while the origins of  most of these teams stem from histories of colonialism and postcolonialism, their Olympic status brings them to a respectable international forum for all to see.

And yes, again, I know that none of this can nor should happen, but perhaps a little thought as to what it means to get beyond the idea of the nation would provide us all with a little global transparency, and bring some folks to the table that have never been there before.   After all, it is at the Olympics -- and only at the Olympics -- that North and South Korea march together under one flag.

July 22, 2006

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