Morphizm.com -- Elegy To Ronald Reagan

1) Write his name in the sand at low tide.

2) Tear down that wall -- at the entrance to Bel Air.

3) Never mention AIDS in public again.

4) Invent a game similar to rock paper scissors called hammer sickle jellybean.

5) Put his face on the $10 bill and change "In God We Trust" to "Gets the Red Out."

6) Turn to a stranger and ask, "What's your sign?"

7) Patent an automated air traffic control system.

8) Pull down your pants, bend over and ask your doctor for a Reaganoscopy.

9) Change the expression "white collar crime" to "supply side economics."

10) Celebrate James Watt's tenure at the Interior Department with a statue featuring a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple.

11) Initiate weapon sales to Al Qaeda and divert all profits to Halliburton.

12) Pass a constitutional amendment against pessimism.

13) Make world leaders today believe "evil empire" referred to the Soviet Union.

14) Rename Baghdad Ronald Reagan City.

15) Change the national motto from "E Pluribus Unum" to "Win Wonum Gipperum."

16) Carve Reagan's face into the L.A. hills and add a "10" to the HOLLYWOOD sign.

17) Write a tell-all book about how your parents sucked.

18) Cure Alzheimer's or at least gray hair.

19) Fund a "Star Wars" program to be used against the inner cities.

20) Reduce the role of government by having Reagan stuffed, then permanently mounted in the Oval Office as President for Eternity.