Snakes Live a Charmed Life

Josh Ross

And your 2001 World Series Champions are the . . . Arizona Diamondbacks?

Dogpile on the pitchers! The Arizona Diamondbacks celebrate their come-from-behind victory in the seventh game of the World Series. (Colin Braley/Reuters)

That sounds awful. Am I the only one who thinks that sounds odd? What's next? E! Wild On Islamabad wins the Emmy for best documentary? The new Zagat's Guide awards five stars to the Haggis and Bile Bistro? Miramax gives Rob Schnieder $20 million for Deuce Bigalow's Revenge? I'm not pleased.

When Mariano Rivera entered the game in the eighth inning, I was already counting my money.

Putting aside the fact that I lost a considerable amount of my girlfriend's bankroll on that Yankees future bet, I can't digest the fact that both the Diamondbacks and the Florida Marlins have now each won more World Series than the Angels -- not to mention that Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes look-alike Craig Counsell played an integral role on both squads. The only time these two franchises could be heard from was when the topic of contraction was brought up.

When I think of the rich, storied history of the Arizona Diamondbacks, it takes me all the way back to 1997 when the immortal Travis Lee led the team with a mind boggling 22 home runs and that first ballot Hall-of-Famer Andy Benes anchored the pitching staff. Aside from the fact my girlfriend won't be able to afford grad school tuition next semester, I'm not sure why I'm so bitter the D'backs pulled out the series.

It could have something to do with their fans being the only ones in the Major League that us Dodger fans can call uninformed. Or maybe because Mark Grace failed to invite me to the party at his place. Or maybe it's those hideous Single-A uniforms that my Pony league team wouldn't go trick-or-treating in. It's probably because there has never been a manager who deserved to lose a series more then Bob Brenly. This guy makes Glen Hoffman look like Connie Mack. If I was paid by the word in these columns, I'd go into every managing blunder; I'm not, but rest assured there were plenty.

Winning formula? Passing the Buck. Showalter carried both the Yanks and the DBacks to the "next level," as he says. Then they both fired him and won the World Series. Next up on Mysteries and Scandals!(AP Photo)

This brings me to good ol' Buck Showalter. I have a theory on him I like to call (and copyright) Passing the Buck. Here's a guy who managed both World Series squads the seasons before they reached baseball's pinnacle. Now I like Diamondback owner Jerry Colangelo about as much as I like cleaning my dog, but he is a shrewd businessman and he witnessed what transpired in New York.

Showalter came into the Yankees clubhouse with his strict rules and regulations, the ones that don't allow any music in the locker room, any sex in the hotel room and any Jergen's in the bathroom. The players soon became embittered and Buck was given the gate and an easygoing ex-broadcaster was brought in to manage. The players responded immediately to Joe Torre's managing style and that was the beginning of their budding dynasty.

Colangelo, wanting to be like his hero George Steinbrenner, saw this as an opportunity to start his new franchise by "Showaltering" the clubhouse. After a couple of years of disillusioning the players, Colangelo axes Buck and makes the call to the press box and brings down easy-going Bob Brenly who promptly wins the World Series in his first season. Do you see a pattern?

Jim Tracy is a nice guy and a decent manager, but I guarantee if the Dodgers ever want to rise above mediocrity, they'd do well to Pass the Buck into Chavez Ravine for a couple of years. I'm sure Sheffield and Showalter would get along famously. Sheff is nothing if not open to being told to take out his earring and shave off his goatee. Anyway, after one or two years of missing the playoffs, they fire Buck and Vin Scully steps into the dugout and I'm betting the pink slip to the girlfriend's Cabriolet the Dodgers win the World Series.

Back to this year's series, while the end result could have turned out better, all said, this was undoubtedly the most memorable World Series since '88. I have never been so excited about watching something on television since the Shannon Tweed marathon on Cinemax aired back in the summer of '92.

Now that baseball is over, our attention turns to the NBA, the NHL, and the NFL where the most intriguing sports stories is unfolding. Can the Detroit Lions accomplish the impossible and pull off the defeatist's perfecto? Matt Millen, if you're reading this, I know Buck Showalter played some football in college.

Josh Ross writes for the Los Angeles Times, lethalsports.com, and used to manage Norman Hand's Web site. Please don't tell anyone.