ROTATION

Rob Swift
Jurassic 5
Sleater-Kinney
Nirvana
Sonic Youth
Amon Tobin
Dirty Three
Cat Power
Pixies
Fugazi
Frank Black
Three Mile Pilot
DJ Shadow
Chuck D
Shipping News
Black Heart Procession
White Stripes
Built To Spill
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion

and much more!

"The music business is run by lawyers and accountants, and they don't really care about the integrity of art."

---

"For white people, it will be different. They will be advised to refer to the U.S. Federal Standard 595B Color Chart (or the Ralph Lauren color chip guide at Home Depot) to determine the range of colors permissible in a potential spouse."

Photo: AP/Eric Gay

by Scott Thill

Kobe Bryant had just put away two miracle threes like they were leftover brownies on Charles Barkley's TNT desk. Seconds left in the game and only down a few.

Then mistake after mistake happens, and the next thing you know, Robert Horry is smacking the NBA's J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award winner in the nuts. That is, right before he shoves Tim Ducan, the NBA's Most Valuable Player, in the chest for getting pissed about it.

Got that?

And this is from the team coached by the guy who accused Sacramento's fans of being hicks. The fact that Horry, who is by far the most level-headed role player on the team (compared to pretty boy, Rick Fox, who … ah, nevermind) tried to rob the Admiral of his family jewels shows the lengths a winner might have to travel to ignore the black cloud hanging over his team's head. The Lakers are living on borrowed time. They had to part the Red Seas just to put away the Timberwolves. And top it off with the fact that Duncan's team swept the Lake Show this year, while garnering their leader the MVP.

Meanwhile, the Lakers are three-time champs who think the world should just call the whole thing off and hand them the trophy now. Some call it confidence; Jordan sure as hell would. Others call it hubris. I call it good television.

This slugfest was more exciting than any other game this year (and better than any Celtics matchup -- man their offense is stale!). But here's the tale of two teams: it cost the Lakers a valuable piece of their bench (Devean George), while it gave San Antonio the last thing it -- or any other team in the NBA, for that matter -- needs: swagger.

The kind that says, "Call the whole thing off. Just give us the trophy now."

Photo: AP/Eric Gay

But, truth be told, if I had the choice between an NBA championship or the use of my genitals, it would be genitals every time. Which is something that David Robinson was probably saying to himself as he grabbed onto his package for dear life.

Now I appreciate Shaq and Kobe as much as the next rec baller, but if Horry is losing his mind on the court, then all hell has broken loose. Because he's older, wiser and more decorated than all his teammates; plus, he's not the guy who has to carry the load. That job is for numbers 34 and 8. But the first sat steaming on the bench, having actually fouled out of the game that the other spent jacking whatever shot he liked into the bucket.

Yeah, the whole idea of teamwork on the Lakers is fading fast, and so is the interest. Some, like Horry, know what it means to want more. Some, like Kobe, don't truly know what it's like to not have that behemoth security blanket taking all that room in the post. And others, well, they just aren't the right parts for their roles anymore. But not getting your way and bitching about calls when they aren't (for once, ask the "confident" Jordan about that one) going your way is not going to get the fourth ring for you. You've got to reach that next level. Stand up and be counted, dig deep into that championship spirit and make them feel you. And taking out a hard-working choirboy's gonads is not what I'm talking about.

It's his heart you want. Horry, and his team, just aimed low.

Again.

06 May 03

Scott Thill usually finds the time to write on everything that does not include those fearsome words, "boy band". He's also a gainfully employed editor who writes for XLR8R, Popmatters, All Music Guide, AOL and others. His first novel, The Dangerous Perhaps, should be done by the time the War on Terrorism is over.

Show and Prove Hoops stars and wannabes have known about the legendary Rucker Park in Harlem for years, but now streetball throwdowns are invading living rooms everywhere. And, with superhero names like The Bone Collector and Prime Objective, these playground icons are giving pros like Kobe and Stephon a run for their money . . . MORE	Replacement Killers Saddam Hussein is about to get his ass kicked out of Iraq and the United States is poring through its list of misguided puppets to lord over the nation's crude oil largesse. But who should be in charge of New Iraq? One word: Aniston . . . MORE	Life Isn't Fair No one in the hip-hop game works harder to earn their props than Los Angeles' Jurassic 5. And that's because no one in hip-hop works as hard to call out ignorance wherever they see it. Too bad hip-hop fans still want their 50 Cent worth . . MORE MORE
Something That Makes People Think From handily winning DJ throw-downs to jazzing with Herbie Hancock and Blue Man Group, Rob Swift has been spreading the turntablist ethic far and wide. But with the release of his latest solo effort, Sound Event, he's topped his own tough standards. The interview awaits you . . . MORE	Wonder Why Jack Black ripped him to shreds in High Fidelity, but he -- like most of the U.S. -- probably had zero clue that Stevie Wonder brought the funk and the noise long before "I Just Called to Say I Love You." Looks like a history lesson is in order, courtesy of The Definitive Collection . . . MORE	Ain't That America? Is there really a controversy here? After all, in a universe populated by MLB officials denying the use of steroids and pros offing their spouses because they happen to get pregnant, you'd think the world would find a young athlete like Toni Smith standing up for her beliefs somewhat refreshing. Well, you'd be wrong . . . MORE