We're Halfway Home

Josh Ross

The NFL season has reached the halfway point and despite the fact I can't pick a winner to save my dog's life, it has been a pretty solid year so far. A few thoughts about the first half of the season…

Nice stance! Lions kicker Jason Hanson ponders a ballet career. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)

How badly does everyone not named Marty Mornhinweg or Matt Millen want to see the Detroit Lions go 0-16? No team -- not even one coached by Kevin Gilbride -- has "accomplished" such a perfect season. I'm sure Barry Sanders is kicking himself for retiring as he negotiates his way around the golf course.

Top five fantasy busts: Michael Bennett, Fred Taylor (dude has pulled more groin than Jenna Jameson), TrINT Green, James Stewart, or any member of the Carolina Panthers. Top five fantasy steals: Shaun Alexander, Anthony Thomas, Priest Holmes, Rod Smith, and any player who is not on the Carolina Panthers.

Has there ever been a duller 6-2 team then the Miami Dolphins? I'd rather share a suite at the Red Roof Inn with Ken Caminiti then sit through a 'Phins game. Can't someone tell Dave Wannstedt that his moustache is hideous? That thing is still about five more years away from coming in symmetrically.

Bitter beer face! Earth to Gruden: SMILE! (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

How the hell was Jon Gruden voted "Sexiest Man in Sports" by People Magazine? The guy looks like he just walked in on his wife having an affair with Beetlejuice from Howard Stern's show. Who's going to win the award this year -- Noxema Cover Girl Norv Turner?

If Terry Glenn ever got his head on straight and focused solely on football, we'd be mentioning him in the same breath as Eddie Kennison.

The league was much easier to handicap when every team outside of St. Louis didn't blow equally.

Whoever argues that parity is good in the NFL must be thrilled to see the Lions take on the Cardinals this weekend.

Lookalikes: Elvis Grbac and Michael Rappaport.

Tony Siragusa might want to take a meeting with the Ravens equipment manager and consider moving to an XXXXXXXL jersey, the one he's got is stretched thinner then Lara Flynn Boyle's neck. Also, his helmet looks like a yarmulke with the chinstrap not making it past his lower lip.

Matt Lytle's consecutive games streak as a starting QB in the NFL appears to be coming to an end this weekend in Carolina. Brett Favre can now breathe a sigh of relief.

Hey, why so angry, pal? Terrell Owens throws down yet another on of his NFL league-leading (with Marvin Harrison) ten TDs. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

Terrell Owens is an unbalanced, undisciplined, outrageous, shocking, disgruntled freak out there on the field. Of course, if I'm a GM and I have one player to build a franchise with, he'd be my first overall pick.

How come everyone on earth knew Steve McNair would try the quarterback sneak with the final play of the Monday Night Football Game? Did Jeff Fisher's mullet get in the way when he made the play-action call? Kevin Dyson might want to run his routes at the end of games one yard deeper in the future.

Los Angeles fans are salivating over the potential of an all ex-L.A. Superbowl. At least we had the Xtreme.

Josh Ross writes for the Los Angeles Times, lethalsports.com, and used to manage Norman Hand's Web site. Please don't tell anyone.