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"You
really looking forward to Ashcroft's stormtroopers contradicting the
will of our people by knocking over wheelchairs to confiscate a couple
ounces of herb? Bush wants regime change so bad, I got his regime change
right here."
"The
music business is run by lawyers and accountants, and they don't really
care about the integrity of art."
"Word
comes that brother Cat Stevens refuses to lend his support to our virtuous
jihad. May this turncoat's Peace Train be laden with explosives and
rammed into the Mountain of Mohammed, peace be upon him. "
"In
a segment that seems designed to honor yet another one of rock and
roll's seminal yet fallen heroes, MTV just can't help talking about
why it, not Nirvana, mattered so much."
"You
can make nicely crafted things, whether they're poems, sculptures, paintings,
records, CDs, whatever. But they'll just be that -- nice. They won't
be unwieldy as personal expression often can be."
"What
do a toilet bowl and a woman's vagina have in common? They both need
to be cleaned with Lysol."
"I
applaud My Big Fat Greek Wedding for avoiding a sickeningly cute
Meg Ryan/Julia Roberts cipher gumming it up for the camera or a surgically-altered
Pamela Lee/Carmen Electra bimbo slutting it up for the camera."
"That's
an issue I'm dealing with here: what is going to happen with this next
generation of kids? What is their culture but media culture? What hasn't
been sanitized and homogenized?"
"There's
some thing in the American psyche, it's almost this kind of right or
privilege to resolve our conflicts with violence. There's an arrogance
to that concept. To actually have to sit down and talk, to listen, to
compromise, that's hard work. To go for the gun, that's the cowardly
act."
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Ten
Reasons Why American Culture Didn't Suck in 2002 . . .
by
Scott Thill
While this list is not meant to be comprehensive, if there's something
you feel has been unfairly ignored, it is possible that it didn't deserved
to be included in the first place. Let's get serious: 2002 was a very
good year. But as much as The Osbournes was a riotous romp through a
soulless Reality TV landscape, it was still part of the problem and
probably won't make it to a third year. And if it does, I'll take Vegas
odds that it'll heavily suck. So without further ado, here's ten watershed
moments of the past year whose impact will most likely be felt long
after Dick Clark's balls drop on New York City and Los Angeles.
Lord
of the Rings, dir. Peter Jackson
Ok, Fellowship of the Ring came out in 2001 and The Two Towers
entered 2002 a bit late in the game to thoroughly assess its overall
impact. But that's the beauty of Peter Jackson's vision of J.R.R. Tolkien's
canonical, 1000-page, ever-prescient masterpiece of eco-criticism, unrelenting
conflict and Paradise Lost: its considerable success is already guaranteed
(as is its $300 million and upward investment) by the kind of production
that Jackson and Co. have built from the immeasurable pressures of a
built-in fan base over half a century old. Jackson not only hit a home
run, he torn down the stadium. The three-hour Fellowship was
a thunderous success (although it was unfairly snubbed by the Academy
-- see
the second half of this piece for more), and its ensuing
DVD releases were fairly-priced researcher/collector wet dreams. Indeed,
by inserting another (arguably indispensable, at least according to
Viggo Mortensen and about a trillion Tolkien hardliners) half-hour into
his film, the box set of Fellowship was the DVD release -- Spider
who? -- of the year. The DVDs were no shell game: both were packed with
enough relevant materials -- including National Geographic documentaries,
biographical materials on Tolkien, behind-the-scenes glimpses at WETA's
revolutionary FX, the list goes on -- to confirm to popular culture
what Tolkien fans have known for years: no one should forget to thank
the Oxford professor of philology and linguistics for inventing a continually
relevant and invaluable narrative of imagined cultures and languages
out of the recesses of his own World War-torn imagination. And Jackson's
reverential treatment of Tolkien was made manifest in everything from
his choice of actors (the openly gay, activist Sir Ian McKellen; the
poetically-artistically-musically-politically motivated Mortensen; the
ridiculously talented Cate Blanchett, etc.), his relentless Tolkien
research, his almost single-handed exploding of New Zealand's film industry,
and more. In a year when Hollywood heavyweights like George
Lucas and
Steven Spielberg revisited their own sci-fi stand-bys and
failed, Peter Jackson and his multitalented friends manufactured a colossus
that will most likely make everyone forget that Skywalker Ranch ever
existed. That, friends, is no small feat, especially when he had to
make three pressure-soaked films in one fell swoop. Bitch all you want
about slow scenes, weepy Hobbit dialogue and too-crowded battle plains,
but when the smoke clears in the next few years, Jackson will have emerged
as the most relevant director on the block. And New Zealand will most
likely have become the New (or at least better) Hollywood. Interview
with Viggo Mortensen
Spirited
Away, dir: Hayao Miyazake
Ok, you might think that this is a cheat. After all, Hayao Miyazaki
-- the intimidating brains behind The Castle of Cagliostro, Nausicaa:
Valley of the Wind, and Princess Mononoke -- is Japan's,
not America's, de facto animation genius. But lest you forget,
it was Disney -- America's favorite whitebread, historical revisionist
multinational -- that bankrolled the introduction of the auteur's splendid
exercise in nightmare, childhood and cartoon excess into the States.
Besides the fact that Spirited Away was one of the finest films
of the year, it was the type of revolutionary kids' movie, Lilo and
Stitch aside, that Disney needs to make itself relevant again to
people over the age of seven. Its stateside subsidization was enough
to almost make you forget the lamely revisionist Pocahontas,
the borderline racist Aladdin, or the just plain lame Hunchback
of Notre Dame ever existed.
Full Review
Sleater-Kinney,
One Beat
Turn on your TV and just see what you get if you want to watch women
making music: copious amount of tits and ass. Which is par for the course
if you're watching anything on Fox -- but music? Is there really nothing
else out there besides Christina's shrinking clothes collection and
Britney's tanned rack? Sleater-Kinney knows there is, which is why their
exceedingly topical 2002 release slammed everything from the image industry
that keeps pop culture well-fed ("When the lights are shining / Will
you see my skin / Or just the shell / That I'm packaged in" asks the
hard-hitting "Hollywood Ending") to rampant post-9/11 jingoism ("The
good old boys are back on top again / And if we let them lead us blindly
/ The past becomes the future once again" reads the daring "Combat Rock").
When the Madonna clones are all moving onto their inevitable nude layouts
(a la the Material Girl's Sex), SK will still be rocking speakers
and motivating political girlhood who've decided they've seen quite
enough of bubblegum idols. Full
Review
Frank
Black, Black Letter Days and Devil's Workshop
For all the relentless hype on MTV and elsewhere (Krist and Dave vs.
Courtney! Ten-year anniversary! Now more than ever!) about Nirvana's
pseudo-comeback, let's not forget that their newly-released, self-titled
compilation album going for around $20 at your nearest megachain contains
only … one … new … song. That's
right, one $20 song. Somewhere Cobain is turning over in his
heroin-soaked grave, especially considering that the guy he idolized
and copied released two (!) albums of 29 songs on one day and no one
else except Frank Black's die-hard audience seemed to give a shit. Remember,
Frank Black (Black Francis of the seminal Pixies at the time) is a guy
that made Seattle's grunge icon run scared from a hotel lobby out of
nervous anxiety at the prospect of shaking hands. And this is the thanks
he gets? Something's rotten in Denmark (and everywhere else), all right.
Especially considering that, after a slew of solo albums, Black came
into his own with this potent blast of Stones worship, On the Road-like
ruminations on geography and selfhood, and bracing, raw rock the likes
of which made AOR radio listenable before duds like Def Leppard and
Van Halen ruined it forever. From dual versions of Tom Waits' creepy
"Black Rider" and poignant mind-trips like "Bartholomew" and "His Kingly
Cave" to straight-up Neil Young-ish barnburners like "Fields of Marigold",
Frank Black's double-barrelled salute to two-track, zero-edit songcraft
takes the prize for the most underrated release of the year. He deserves
better than this, and I can't wait until the day (coming sooner than
you think) that I can buy Strokes and Vines discs from the bargain bin,
while Black's impressively growing body of work only appreciates in
price. That'll be fun. Full
Review
The
Dallas Mavericks
Say what you want about energetic Mavs owner Mark Cuban, but his Dallas
Mavericks are the greatest show on the NBA's money-grubbing earth. With
triple-threat players from Germany, Canada, Mexico, Israel, Chicago
and onward who move the ball unselfishly and often (as well as thrive
on a zone defense older than Michael Jordan's knees), coach Don Nelson's
latest concoction is a poster-child for new millenium multiculturalism.
As well as the only NBA squad that's still fun to watch against sorry
teams like the Denver Nuggets and Memphis Grizzlies during a yawning
82-game regular season. And even though they gave away a recent historical
comeback win to the Lakers after slapping them silly for two quarters,
Dallas is still the team to beat in the NBA, Shaq or no Shaq. Just check
the standings. Better yet, watch their offense. See how they're not
standing around as some 300-plus pound genetic freak with no game pounds
the ball inside? See how they actually move without the ball in their
hands? See how they don't bitch about not getting enough shots (sorry,
Kobe)? It's all part of the game, a team one, and they know how to play
it well. Hopefully enough to win it all. Even after the Bush administration
had successfully razed its reputation to the ground, the Mavericks are
single-handedly doing their best to make Texas cool.
DJ
Shadow, Private Press
You can keep your snoozy Paul Oakenfold, your hypocritical Moby and
your soon-to-be-passe Neptunes (anyone remember Jimmy Jam and Terry
Lewis?) -- DJ Shadow is global culture's most compelling electronic
visionary. Mostly because he eschews conventional electronic music altogether
in favor of meticulous sampling from source material more archaic than
Strom Thurmond. And unlike Moby, he usually tells you where it came
from. More than any artist working today, Shadow seems to understand
-- as his basement crate-digging scene from the excellent turntablist
documentary, Scratch, illustrated -- that success, fame and/or
a good rep are simply temporal blurs based on a confluence of forces
that are usually beyond an artist's control. So he stays unswervingly
true to a personal vision the way most time-worn auteurs do, and his
2002 release had more in its scope than most. From the addictive, noirish
thump of "Fixed Income" to the tongue-in-cheek humor of "Right Thing/GDMFSOB"
(which resuscitated Information Society's hilarious Mr. Spock "pure
energy" sample), Shadow's high-pressure follow-up to his already canonical
backlog touched all of pop music's bases before rewinding the run in
order to do it his own damn way. It can't be said enough: this guy's
the real deal. And while Private Press might not be his finest
work, it was better than 99 percent of the releases heard on Earth this
year. Full
Review
Mike
Davis, Dead Cities
We tend to think of our cities as Earth itself, while ignoring the reality
that lies beneath their increasing sprawl and construction, something
City of Quartz author Mike Davis tried to localize for Los Angeles
in his hysterically panned Ecology of Fear. But ever the relentless
researcher, America's sharpest urban theorist has turned his eye to
9/11 and the destruction of the Twin Towers and found that its downfall
was predicted not by some faux-religious egomaniac like Osama bin Laden
but almost one hundred years earlier by H.G. Wells. Yet Davis is not
interested in color-by-numbers prophecy as much as he is in dissecting
monumental assumptions like civic integrity, ecological symbiosis and
self-righteous development. He's spent years trying to wake America
up to the ravages it has visited on natural landscapes, how they will
someday exact a price human culture won't necessarily be able to pay.
And Dead Cities is his latest missive locating Freud's familiar
uncanny (the unheimlich that signals the return of the repressed,
or sometimes oppressed) in the destruction of cities, the proliferation
of human (mostly toxic) waste and thoughtless pollution. If you think
that you're somehow innocent to the degradation of Earth, read this
book and think again.
Bowling
for Columbine, dir. Michael Moore
For the last decade, it's been like clockwork -- just when you thought
the world had lost its champions of the poor and underrepresented or
turned into a bunch of wimp-ass pushovers, Michael Moore comes along
and smacks you upside the head with his camera, his wit and his cojones.
An Everyman if there ever was one, Moore's quest to find out why Americans
just could seem to give a shit less about each other reached its apotheosis
with Bowling, a sobering study of our country's gun addiction.
Whether taking the raw nerve of the Columbine massacre and exposing
its defense-industry roots or exposing hollow American icons like Dick
Clark and Charlton Heston (while in the process restoring our much-maligned
Canadian neighbors' integrity -- it's about time!), Moore's film was
easily the most relevant picture of the year. Remember that when the
Academy snubs him for Best Documentary. This film should be required
viewing in every high school on earth; too bad most parents will hide
it just like their bullied teenagers hide their Skinny Puppy or Marilyn
Manson discs in their trenchcoats. Interview
with Michael Moore
Adult
Swim, Cartoon Network
It may have started slow, but like any winner, it finished strong when
it counted. Forget MTV, forget Must-See TV, forget Reality TV -- the
best show on television is found in a dead-end weekend time slot on
a kid's channel, Cartoon Network. Just like real life, not everything
on the two-day, three-hour (which will be expanding to a weekly stint
come January) Adult Swim is worth taping. But almost all of it
is. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law is a side-splitting, flawless
exercise in postmodern pastiche, reimagining the Hanna-Barbera backlog
for the 21st century: Johnny Quest's Dr. Quest and Race Bannon
as gay lovers, Fred Flinstone as a mafioso, Scooby and Shaggy as busted
potheads, the original Neptunes as copyright thieves, the list truly
goes on. Mission Hill is probably the only show (to say nothing
of cartoons) that features a horny gay couple as landlords, but definitely
the only show featuring the words, "MTV sucks" on a naked ass hanging
out of a car window. Who else but Adult Swim would give Ren
and Stimpy-creator John Kricfalusi -- a guy who almost single-handedly
resuscitated Mad Magazine-type humor (say thank you, Spongebob
Squarepants) for cartoons -- another shot at television? His Ripping
Friends is simply scary funny, featuring villains that take away
friction, fire noxious fart bombs, or (like my favorite, the Indigestable
Wad, who hilariously screams his name every five minutes) deprive humans
of moisture. Adult Swim's gifts go on. Cowboy Bebop, a
cyberpunk anime worthy
of WIlliam Gibson's seminal Neuromancer
finally has a home there. So does the riotous Home Movies, which
was unfairly cast adrift by UPN. And while Adult Swim might miss
sometimes, when it hits the mark, it hits it hard.
And
You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, Source Tags and Codes
You'd think the cool-as-shit moniker would make everyone remember that
this Austin-based riff factory released what I would argue was the best
rock album of 2002. But no, according to the mainstream media, that
distinction goes to the weepy, weightless Coldplay. Or worse, the deeply
derivative Vines (I'm sorry, but "Get Free" is just Nirvana's "Negative
Creep" -- check the chord progression and phrasing, it's all there).
And as much as Trail of Dead get unfairly slammed for onstage antics
and overall Gothic gimmickry, there's no doubt that Source Tags and
Codes is the type of album you have to turn down sometimes because
it just rocks so fuckin' hard. Which is funny consdering that the majority
of its ass-kicking arpeggios come not as many argue out of Sonic Youth
but REM, the subject of one of singer Conrad Keely's impressive rock
journalism. Peter Buck should be (hell, he probably is) proud. Like
REM, they've got a gift for guitar melody and like SY, they've got a
gift for sheer noise. But unlike both, they've got a surround-sound
gravitas informing everything from hook-filled masterpieces like "How
Near How Far" and straight-up punk like "Homage" to their in-between
filler and eye-popping artwork. Trail of Dead are multimedia rockers
the likes of which we have rarely seen or heard, and it's gonna be a
damn good time watching their meteor slam into the earth again.
17
December 02
NEXT
-- > . . . AND TEN REASONS WHY IT DID:
Regardless of his bullshit pose in 8 Mile, Eminem wrote these lyrics
for "Criminal": "My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge/That'll
stab you in the head/whether you're a fag or lez/Or the homosex, hermaph
or a trans-a-vest/Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's 'Yes'". And
these: "While getting dropped off in the real back street/where somebody
black sees/five little rich white boys lookin like faggots/with the 'N'
word painted on the back of their jackets." And we're supposed to stomach
the clown that wrote all this coming to the defense of a homosexual in
a movie based on his life?"
Scott
Thill is a gainfully employed dotcom editor currently finishing his first
novel, The Dangerous Perhaps.
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