Pink Peril: An Interview with Lynn Peril, Pink Think

by Sandra Fu

What do a toilet bowl and a woman's vagina have in common? They both need to be thoroughly cleaned with Lysol.

At least that's what Lysol's advertising campaign recommended from the 1920s to the 1950s. In fact, their ads claimed that married women might not be satisfying their wifely duties and could be to blame for unhappy marital affairs because of unchecked feminine odor. Who knew the mid-century homemaker had the luxury of douching and cleaning her toilet with the same product? The ease, the versatility … the horror, the horror.

Are you afraid yet? You should be. Because there's plenty more terrifying stuff to shock and even laugh yourself silly over in Lynn Peril's first novel, Pink Think: Becoming a Woman in Many Uneasy Lessons. Peril -- whose print and Internet magazine, Mystery Date, spotlights "femorabilia" such as sex and dating manuals, etiquette and self-help books, as well as health, beauty and fashion guides -- has thankfully released her alarming cultural history just in time to counteract a mediascape that has a much more pervasive influence on concepts of femininity than before. Peril's book gives women the opportunity to learn how such social codification worked against them in the past, in order to better understand how it is working its magic in the present.

SF: I know the Pink Think mentality covers a lot of ground, but tell me what it means to you and what inspired you to put it all together in a book?
LP: Well, basically, I've been writing a lot about these things for years for Mystery Date and I actually was asked to submit a proposal to St. Martin's back in 1997 or 1999. I was trying to think of some kind of theory to hang everything on. I was walking through the office one day and I was thinking of the words, "Think Pink" -- I don't know why -- and it just flipped around in my head to "Pink Think" and I thought, "Ooh, yeah, yeah!" Because it is sort of this groupthink mentality about how women are supposed to be. And pink is such a shorthand for ideas about femininity, so that's kind of how that came together.

Thinking pink. "Whereas being an old maid is a horrible problem, being a crusty old bachelor isn't a problem, because by definition men are supposed to be single."

SF: I loved the comment from Zsa Zsa Gabor: "The best way to attract a man is to have a magnificent bosom, a half-sized brain and let both of them show." Actually, it kind of scared me.
LP: As many things do in Pink Think, I think. Yeah, terrifying stuff.

SF: Do you think that women today are still encouraged to follow that advice?
LP: I think women today are probably still encouraged to follow that advice, although I think it's a lot more subtle. I don't think you're going to find stuff as blatant, but on the other hand, I think I saw something on 60 Minutes where they were talking to women at the Harvard Business School who were saying how difficult it was to get a date there.

SF: Men are intimidated by smart women.
LP: Exactly. So, I think that part of it certainly hasn't gone away, and I haven't noticed the world of cleavage going away either.

SF: The ultimate goal of the Pink Think strategy is to end up married. And yet in the literature for men -- back then and even now -- the most attractive concept is to remain single. And so society is teaching them opposing things. Doesn't it seem unfair to push something nobody wants?
LP: Well, what you have to remember with all of this is the difference between prescriptive literature and real life. And the fact of the matter is: nobody lives exactly like the guidebook's description. It's interesting. On the one hand, they are pushing women to capture a man and then pushing men to stay single, which is completely confusing. And at the same time, they are also selling women -- creating problems to sell products to women. It's a big mind game to sell stuff. And I know I'm not answering your question, but I've never thought about it that way.

SF: Well, what made me think of it was that now we're a more evolved culture and the feminist movement has made advances. But then I look at women's magazines like Cosmo, how they are always focusing on the man's pleasure versus the woman's, focusing on how to catch a man and be manipulative. What they are teaching is still the same.
LP: But I think -- getting back to what you were asking me -- they are pushing that men need to be single. And whereas being an old maid is a horrible problem, being a crusty old bachelor isn't a problem, because by definition men are supposed to be single. At the same time -- I didn't write too much about this, but looking at that Esquire etiquette guide which is this huge thick book about everything that you could possibly need to know about business and business etiquette -- you were equally suspect as a single man in business as you probably were being a single woman. And I think that part probably holds true today. I work in an office and I notice how people -- attorneys I work for who aren't married or are married without children -- conveniently find a picture of a niece or a nephew or pictures of the bride to put up. And we all love having pictures of our family -- it's what gets us through the day -- so I don't mean to say that this is all a completely cynical ploy. But I do think if you really want to get ahead on the corporate ladder, and you're male, being married is a sign of stability, and having children is another sign of stability and normalcy.

So, I think that it doesn't come through in the book because I'm not as interested in men's stuff. But if you look at prescriptive literature of the day, and especially the married women's stuff about pushing your husband up the career ladder, I think there is this sense that, yeah, you're supposed to stay single to a point.

New and improved. "So much of this is about selling product. Because the ultimate product eventually is the woman herself." (Photo: Medicine and Madison Avenue)

SF: Women have a history of being both consumer and commodity, buying everything they can to make themselves desirable in order to actually sell themselves into marriage, etc. Let's talk a little about that dichotomy.
LP: That's a very, very popular dichotomy and I think it definitely still exists. We were talking about how Pink Think has become less blatant, but that's the part of it that really still does exist. When I've been doing readings, people have often asked me about what's going on today, especially they talk about images of teenage girls. Like, what is the ideal teenage girl? While I think that today it's a more sexualized image -- the Britney, the Christina, letting your tummy hang out, the slutty clothes for even little girls -- I think what it shares is that, again, so much of this is about selling product. And you're absolutely right, because the ultimate product eventually is the woman herself. I mean, just think of all the stuff we buy! And I am totally just as guilty of this as anyone else.

SF: Me too.
LP: You know? Please. I love my lipstick. I love my beauty products and all of that stuff. It's one of those really slippery questions that you suddenly get into. It's like, "Am I buying into this ideal that's been set up for me or do I do this because I really enjoy this"? And I would say I do it because I enjoy it, but then again, I don't know.

SF: Because the societal forces have been there all along.
LP: Exactly. They have been there for so long and we've been raised with them forever.

SF: That actually leads into one of my other questions about virginity. I've been noticing a lot of abstinence promotion, more than I've seen in the past. But the teenage icons for girls today, like Britney, are hypersexualized.
LP: Exactly!

SF: I don't know if you've seen the Christina Aguilera video, "Dirrty"?
LP: No.

SF: When I opened up AOL, it was there, so I played it and it was just the most lascivious, almost pathologically sexual video I've ever seen. How, on the one hand, can we as a society promote such sexual creatures and, on the other hand, say that sex is wrong or get mad at boys for wanting to have sex with girls?
LP: That dichotomy, that whole virgin/slut ethic has been around forever and ever and ever. It's the whole Madonna/Whore thing. In Pink Think, certainly in the materials I looked at from mid-century, it's the whole thing about being a virgin, a virgin, a virgin. For God's sake, don't let the boys touch you. You're in charge of his desire. Until you get married, that is, and then suddenly it's supposed to just completely flip around and the woman is supposed to become this -- not necessarily hypersexualized -- but suddenly become this acrobat, someone who suddenly knows...

SF: Knows how to pleasure.
LP: And knows how to get her own. When you've been told for so long that you're not supposed to have your hands below your waist -- or his waist -- then what are you supposed to do? But this whole society is completely hypocritical about sex and it always has been. Because that is it in a nutshell: there is sex everywhere, everywhere that you look. It's used to sell everything. But the whole deal is that women are supposed to be virginal until they're married, and with boys the double standard is still in play. Although I think they are trying to push that abstinence stuff on young men as well. But what a useless, what a moronic…

SF: Approach.
LP: Yes!

It's man's world. "In the materials I looked at from mid-century, the whole thing is about being a virgin, a virgin, a virgin. Until you get married, that is, and then suddenly it's supposed to just completely flip around." (Photo: Medicine and Madison Avenue)

SF: Because why not teach them about sexuality -- use education?
LP: Exactly. And say,"Look, this is your body and you have a right to do with it what you please. This is what they are trying to sell you, this is what they are trying to tell you, this is how they are trying to commodify your sexuality. Don't buy into that."

But on the other hand if you want to be sexual -- at whatever age you feel is right for you -- then you should be able to know how to protect yourself from both pregnancy and diseases and have a safe way of enjoying your own sexuality. But instead it's, "You don't do it. Don't do it at all. Don't do it." For some kids, I think it's probably just as important that they feel comfortable that they don't have sex. Especially right now when it's being shoved at them from every single angle. If I had children, I think I would probably say, "You don't have to do this." That would be my thing -- I would be trying to say, "Look at what they are trying to sell you. Look at this, don't be manipulated. Be aware of yourself, believe in yourself, have a lot of self-confidence and self-esteem and don't be manipulated." That would be my advice.

SF: They need to have the knowledge -- the whole package. And start it at a young age, because it's too late when they are teenagers.
LP: Exactly. Especially, like you said, when you have this stuff shoved at you. I think it would be so difficult to be a parent right now, just because of all the constant hypersexualization that we were talking about. And the fact that companies market this to children just makes me want to go out and wreck things at their corporate headquarters.

SF: Absolutely, because these companies are not even thinking about our culture or what they are doing to these kids. It's warping their minds. What do you think women can do to take accountability for how men perceive them?
LP: That gets back to what we were talking about before. They have to ask themselves, "Am I buying into this or is this what I really want to do"? On the most personal level possible. I think that's where, again, self-esteem and awareness of how the media wants to manipulate your image and how it has been manipulated comes in. Knowing your own mind and always being honest about knowing your own mind is probably the best way to be accountable.

It's like that example in the introduction of Pink Think about how a woman who is afraid of mice isn't following the dictates of Pink Think. But if she pretends to be afraid of mice because she thinks that that's going to increase her desirability and femininity, then she is following it. And I think it's being aware of the difference between the two and holding to your own integrity. I think it comes down to understanding that you don't have to be this way. Because so much of it is being constantly sold: you have to be powdered and perfumed and dressed in a certain way and -- like you said from Cosmopolitan -- how you can please a man in bed and him, him, him. And I think it's a lot of knowing yourself and not falling into the traps that have been set out for you. Now, how are you going to tell that to somebody who is completely invested in following that? I don't know. But we all have acquaintances and friends and family who we know who are completely invested in that image. I don't know how you unmake that.

Message in a bottle. "They have to ask themselves, 'Am I buying into this or is this what I really want to do'? I think that's where self-esteem and awareness of how the media wants to manipulate your image comes in. (Photo: Medicine and Madison Avenue)

SF: While I was doing research for an article on women's magazines, I looked at the flip side with men's magazines. What I learned they do is cover their magazines with scantily clad women just like we do. They tell you the fastest and easiest ways to get laid -- similar to the advice given in that Esquire guide from mid-century -- going in for the kiss, trying to get as far as you can.
LP: Exactly. Taking her clothes off right away because then she wouldn't be able to fight back.

SF: That hasn't changed either.
LP: And it's all so cynical -- all of it, on both sides. Again, who knows what real people think? But certainly there's chatter on both sides. "Oh, you do this and you wear that and he's going to like that and here's how you manipulate him". And on the male side, "Here's how you get to have sex immediately".

SF: And cheaply. I actually read that in one article.
LP: And cheaply [Laughs]. Oh, my god! And is it any wonder that relationships are so difficult when you have so much crazy completely manipulative bullshit that's been pushed at both sexes instead of just being honest about who you are and what you want and everything like that?

SF: It's sad because, when following this advice, often no one actually gets what they want out of the relationship anyway.
LP: And it's so funny because, with so many people, it would be so subversive if they would just pay attention to their own desires. Because I think there are men out there who would suddenly go [in a great "dude" voice], "You know what? I like women who weigh a lot more than models". And there would be a lot more men and women going, "You know, I don't think I'm really heterosexual". And there would be women going, "You know, I think I want to put on a strap-on and tell my husband or boyfriend to turn over". I mean, there would be all this crazy stuff that probably does happen in bedrooms around the country. But I think there are a lot of people who just really suffer because in their brain they think they're supposed to be doing the vanilla ABCs."

SF: So do you see any new dangerous trends on the rise?
LP: Well, there's one thing that I actually want to read more about. A friend of mine, last year -- before September 11 -- sent me an interesting article from The New York Times. It was about how either Tampax or Kotex was starting to market their product in Central America and the ways in which they were trying to manipulate cultural ideas about virginity and using a tampon, which just sort of blew my mind. Because I got the sense -- and I'm not conveying it well because I haven't read it in a long time -- but my sense of it was "Oh, we're going to sell some of these ideas of Pink Think that are outmoded here offshore." Just like how we're going to ship bad baby formula to Mexico or something. We're going to ship some of these ideas elsewhere.

More Morphizm

"I wondered why geezers always end up with the hot babes? Or why we have movies where a mullet-sporting David Spade ends up with some goddess? Why didn't it ever go the other way around? And here was My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a movie that dared to do what I always dreamed and I was spitting all over it."

"In a segment that, on the outside, seems designed to honor yet another one of rock and roll's seminal yet fallen heroes, MTV just can't help talking about why it, not Nirvana, mattered so much."

"I think that there's been a lot of difficulty in defining what is American, what is considered American. There's a lot of difficulty with acceptance within our community of foreignness at this time."

"But at the time it was as if he had announced to the whole world that I was wearing a training bra. So I turned around and delivered a swift kick to his crotch."

"How is it that our media has convinced women to envy one another while encouraging men to ogle the requisite T&A that graces their magazine covers? I want equality. I want justice. I want scantily clad, gorgeous men on my magazine covers."

"The guidelines for white people will be different than for others. They will be advised to refer to the U.S. Federal Standard 595B Color Chart (or the Ralph Lauren color chip guide at Home Depot) to determine the range of colors permissible in a potential spouse..."

"There's something in the American psyche, it's almost this kind of right or privilege to resolve our conflicts with violence. There's an arrogance to that concept. To actually have to sit down and talk, to listen, to compromise, that's hard work. To go for the gun, that's the cowardly act."

SF: To sell products.
LP: Right. So that's actually something that I want to take more of a look at. It was a very interesting article and I need to look at it again. I'm being true to the article in spirit if not in actual words. And then I really want to start reading CosmoGirl and some of the teen girl magazines, because I think the scary thing is the more blatant stuff just keeps getting pushed younger and younger and younger. You know, you can just pick up your local toy store ad in the Sunday paper and see a page of pink girls' stuff here and a page of blue boys' stuff there. I was just looking at the FAO Schwartz catalogue and it's boys with all these technological toys and the girls have the dolls again. And there's nothing wrong with that inherently. It's just the sense that it's set up as an either/or proposition.

SF: Because people would be terrified if a boy ever played with a doll.
LP: Well, I was walking home one day and I saw a mom out pushing her stroller with a small baby in it and she had a little son who was maybe two. But he had his little stroller with a doll in it and it was just absolutely adorable and I thought, "How nice". It's not so much about playing with a doll, but of course now he has a younger sibling and how better can you help him adapt to this new little being in his life than to actually have his own little doll and have some sense of …

SF: Teach him to care. Why is that so wrong?
LP: Exactly, why is that so wrong? [Laughs]

SF: Do you collect any contemporary "femorabilia" items from the '80s or '90s?
LP: If I see stuff, I'll nab it. But I don't really have anything leaping to mind that has really blown me away. Like I said, it's not out there as much. And I do love the stuff that's just completely in your face. My eyes are always open for it. But for me, part of the reason why mid-century is so interesting is that I was born in '61. So my memory sort of kicks in around the mid-'60s and goes up through the '70s -- when most of this was being aimed at me. So that's part of the reason. And there's also the nostalgia aspect of it. I don't mean nostalgia in the sense of loving something and getting all misty-eyed about it. I think that we really get attached to the era that's right before what we can remember. So for me, that's the very early '60s and before. That's part of why I'm so attracted to it. And also the mid-century culture that tried to put women back in the kitchen after the war and also just the prosperity meant that there was so much stuff to be mined. I always have my eyes open.

BUY PINK THINK HERE

SF: What I thought was wonderful about Pink Think was that it informed women about these easily identifiable things from the past that might allow women to connect to things that are going on right now.
LP: With Mystery Date -- and especially with Pink Think -- that's always something I hoped would happen. I mean, a lot of this stuff is just outrageously funny, but I've always wanted people to think about it. So that's exactly it. I know a lot of women who are my age or older who have read it, and for them it's sort of an instantaneous connection because they remember so much of it. But I'm certainly hoping that especially younger women pick up on it in exactly the way you described.

30 November 02
(photos: pinkthink.com)

Sandra Fu has published articles for Migente.com, drDrew.com, drKoop.com and more. She's currently finishing her first novel, Sycamore Circle.